how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
