real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
