i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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