Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize