meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
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I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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