fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
