I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize