I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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