Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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