We're facebook friends in real life
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
