he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
