Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
