I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
