And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
