she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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