Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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