I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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