It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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