I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
