Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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