my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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