i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
