think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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