It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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