A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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