Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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