if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
