Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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