she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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