sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he thought i was a dude.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
