do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
