he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
