I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
