Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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