You don't have asthma, your pregnant
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
