the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize