It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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