Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
