Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
