just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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