is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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