Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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