i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
there is puke in my bra ... again
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
