Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
