dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
