I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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