Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
