just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
