And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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