dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
