His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
