Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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