how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
