It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
