When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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