im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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