South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
