No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
