did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize