watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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