I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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