I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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