forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
