id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
