I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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